Tag Archives: torment

This Incredible Thing Called Peace

Thanksgiving in the palm of your hand

I was walking down the aisles of my grocery store today just minding my own business.  My thoughts were on the next errands I had to run, trying to estimate the time it would take for each and determine if I would be able to complete them before my 1:00 p.m. appointment.

As I pushed my cart, I was met with the blitz of holiday food conveniently placed where it could not be missed.  There, in the center aisle, were the ingredients for your favorite Thanksgiving feast.  Green bean casserole with French fried onions, dressing, pumpkin pie, cookie mixes, Velveeta cheese with RO*TEL,  You name it, it was probably there.   And all I could do was send up a whisper of “thanks”.

For a brief moment I was reminded of my dieting days, the days before I had this incredible thing called Peace with Food.  Back then, I couldn’t go to the grocery store during the holidays without facing one of two options:

  • Option 1 – Go off my diet and indulge which would inevitably result in me spiraling out of control.
  • Option 2 – Resist the incredible urge to buy these “off-limit” tempting foods.  The result of this option?  Resent my diet for making me feel deprived which would eventually cause me to throw off all restraint, indulge, and spiral out of control.

Two different options.  The same end result.

But thankfully, that was before Peace with Food.  Now I am no longer tormented with the grocery store or with the foods frequently flashed before us during the holidays. That is because  I now know that I can have whatever I want, just maybe not as much as I want.  And with this freedom to enjoy the foods I love, surprisingly I really don’t desire them that much and when I do, I now know how to enjoy them in moderation and then move on, feeling content and satisfied.

Yes, I am thankful for many things this Thanksgiving and Peace with Food is definitely one of them.

robynn

 

 

 

Take-Home Message:

With Peace with Food, you have the freedom to enjoy the foods you love in moderation and then move on feeling content and satisfied.

 

 

 

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Is the Halloween Candy Tormenting You?

If my kids are eating Halloween candy, then you better expect to see me eating it too. But not only will I have just one or two with them, I’ll take it a step further by secretly grabbing more and stuffing it in the front of my hoodie pocket after telling them, “You’ve had enough!” Once they leave the room, I’ll secure my comfy spot on the couch only to find myself surrounded with dozens of candy bar wrappers just a few moments later…Oh and a large, empty cup of milk of course.

Any time Halloween rolled around, that is what my days looked like in years past. Reflecting back, I would gorge myself in Halloween candy because 1) I knew if I didn’t, someone else would eat all the “good stuff” …or…2)I just let it torment me by being easily available and felt guilty for throwing it out or giving it away. So what did I do? I mindlessly ate it.

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Now that I have peace with food, this is what my relationship with Halloween candy looks like: before even looking at the mountainous options in the bowl, I think about what sounds good. Then, I approach “THE BOWL”. If I’m in luck, and find a Butterfinger or Twix, I take a couple. If I can’t find what I was looking for, I usually don’t take anything at all. I don’t want to waste my calories on something I wasn’t craving in the first place.

From there, I put the bowl away in a cabinet. I then grab my glass of milk, sit down (preferably without kids needing me at the moment—so I may have to postpone this for after they go to bed) and I savor what is in front of me. I mean, TRULY SAVOR it. And once I take that last bite, there is a great sense of satisfaction because my mind went through a start to finish process.  Yum.

On the other hand, if I were to sit in front of an endless bowl of candy, or see it staring at me across the room all day, I’ll never feel like my mission to eat and enjoy it is complete. So I’ll just keep eating it, resulting in feeling more and more sluggish with every bite. And at that point, I am not savoring anything. I’m just eating because it is available.

If it is too tempting knowing the candy is just a cabinet door away, it may be more helpful to pick out your absolute favorites and then donate the rest. I’ve also been known to even throw it away! Yes, I do. And I have to close my eyes when I see the chocolate bar go in the trash. BUT,  if I was only going to eat it because I felt guilty for throwing it out—even if it was going to make me feel sluggish later, causing me to eat more due to feeling depressed—it probably isn’t a good enough reason for me to keep it around.

So there you have it! I hope some of these ideas can help lessen the torment you may have been experiencing in the last week!

Until next time,

Lara

 

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Guilt Trip

We’ve been on a few trips in our life and we would have to say, this is the one we enjoy the least.  In fact, we don’t think we could use the word “enjoy” at all, because quite frankly guilt trips are down right TorMenTiNg.

In the last week we have been talking about this IsSuE not just with each other, but with other moms.

The discussion goes something like this, we feel GuiLtY because it seems that we are “riding” our kids non-stop, constantly having to correct them, instruct them, discipline them, etc.  When we look at our husbands who seem to just get to enjoy the kids, then comes the guilt.  “My husband gets to have all the fun.  I do all the correcting.  I’m not a good mom because I should be playing with my kids.  I feel like I am always nagging my kids.”

The truth is, as mom’s we all have DiFfeReNt GiFtS.  For some moms, playing with their kids may be what naturally flows out of them, for others, maybe it’s nurtuing.  Maybe you love cooking with your kids or reading to them.  Both of us are very loving with our kids.  We love to cuddle with them.  It’s what comes natural to us and as a result, it’s what we do the best at.  When they are sad, its mom they come running to.  However, instead of FoCuSinG on our strength as mother’s we focus on the area where we are lacking.  The result:  Guilt.  We know better, but we do it anyway.   Ugh!!

When we think back to our childhood neither of us remember our mom’s playing with us.  Ever.  However, we both have very FoNd MeMoRiEs of our moms.  They were a very safe place to land – LoViNg and wArm, SeCuRe and sAfE.

So if you’re feeling guilt, ask yourself if it is self-imposed.  Sure, there are times we know we should do better, but guilt goes so beyond this.

If you’re struggling with guilt, take a good look at why.  Is there a change you need to make?  If so, make the change, but then give yourself a break and enjoy your kids by focusing on the things that come NaTuRaL to you.

:)

~Robynn and Lara~

Check out a similar post by Lara called “Mommy Guilt” by clicking here.

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