Tag Archives: peace with food

Lara’s Story

As Robynn said, we all have a different story which is compiled of dreams, hopes and fears. Each of us is unique, making every individual like no other…which brings you to my story…

I don’t remember how much I weighed back in late elementary school, but the way my body felt and looked is still vivid in my mind. I remember countless times staring at my reflection in the mirror and telling myself in disgust that I was–(I hate to use this word but this is how I “felt”)– fat. It pains me to this day even recalling that time in my life, because the ache it caused me was deep. I was unhappy and felt trapped in my own body.

When I hit eighth grade, I became more active in sports and hit a growth spurt. The combination of those two things allowed me to thin down, but that didn’t mean my eating habits improved. I was lucky enough to stay thin throughout high school due to being tall and active, but deep down I never had peace with food and the memories of my childhood food struggle continued to haunt me.10616916_315678088635031_903975050_n

I gained some weight when I went to college and remember trying to diet–here and there–to shed a few quick pounds. Everyone may have looked at me and thought I was thin, but I had them fooled in regards to how I felt. Food, and my obsession to have an “ideal” body, secretly controlled my life. As a college freshman I remember buying a huge bag of kettle corn from Sam’s Club. I told myself I could eat only popcorn and water, in hopes to lose five pounds. I would even pass up eating dinner with my friends because I had promised myself to stick with my plan—only  to throw my hands up in defeat a week later after a couple pound gain. Not to mention, I missed out on those fun outings I had passed up.

The saga continued after college and into my marriage. I had such a love/hate relationship with food. Loved how it tasted but hated how it made me feel after eating too much of it and the control it had over my life. I would frantically read any new diet fad on a magazine–in hopes to put an end to this madness–but it wasn’t until years later that I found the answer.

When I met Robynn, and our friendship grew, we began to openly discuss our secret struggles with food. It wasn’t until then that I realized I wasn’t alone. And the more we talked about our frustrations, the more we were determined to stop the food insanity that had taken over our lives.

That is where our peace with food journey began. And since it would be too difficult to try and share our experiences all in one post, we will share it in smaller segments as we continue to blog. We hope you’ll stay with us and invite others to join the discussion as we share how to live in PEACE with food.

More to come!





Filed under Peace w/ Food, Self Image, SelfImprovement, You

Season of Food

Hi Suede Sofa Readers! It’s been a while, dear friends–thanks for sticking with us.

Robynn and I LOVE the holidays. Absolutely LOVE them. But we also know that the holiday season can present it’s own challenges, one being FoOd. Since the holidays are right around the corner, we have decided to spend the next few months discussing food, weight loss, and body image. We are going to share ways to have peace in those areas without having to be on a diet, dreading exercise or giving up your favorite foods. Sounds good to be true, right? Well it is true, and you can have it. We hope you’ll join us, for what we are calling theSeason of FoodBut why wait for Thanksgiving? Let’s get started today by sharing a little Q & A. These are answers we gave before we learned how to have peace with food.

What do you dread the most about the holidays?

Lara: There is hardly anything I dread I dread about the holidays–I absolutely LOVE them! But now that you mention it, I guess I don’t look forward to gaining a few pounds due to all the good food. Either that or I dread feeling like I have to deprive myself of my favorite holiday treats so I don’t gain weight.

Robynn: Before I started having peace with food I lived in one extreme {a.k.a insanity} or the other.  The first extreme was depriving myself of my favorite holiday foods because I was on a diet.  The other extreme was rebelling against dieting by giving myself permission to indulge on anything I wanted which only caused me to gain weight and feel cruddy about myself.

 Can you remember a time when you overindulged during the holidays?

Lara: Can I remember A time? Are you kidding? I have countless memories of spending the holidays eating so much I was stuffed before I went to bed and still suffered from a eating hangover the next morning. It’s obvious that you ate too much when you still feel full after waking up the next day. Egh!

Robynn: As I stated above, Yes!  Too many times to count.  However, with the skills Lara and I have learned that living with peace may not mean perfection but I have a much greater success rate.  :)


Do the holidays ever present challenges for you? If so, we’ll be sharing what we’ve learned and how to maintain peace during the season of food!

Until next time,

Lara & Robynn

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Filed under Peace w/ Food, Uncategorized, You


Do you ever have days when you eat everything in the house and you still feel unsatisfied?  And then as you are frantically trying to find your hidden candy stash you scream inside, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP EATING!!  WHY ARE YOU STILL EATING?!”

Even though I normally stay within 5 pounds of my healthy weight (besides when I’m pregnant) I still have days when I fall off the deep end.  Thinking that it will make me FeeL better, I eat everything in sight, when in fact it only makes me feel worse and causes me to eat more.  I basically give up on myself and hOpE that tomorrow is a better day (when many times it isn’t because I feel horrible the next morning!)

I’ll be hoNesT; I don’t have a glorious ending to this post.  I’m just writing to say that no matter what size or weight you are, some days are just TOUGH.  Have you ever stuck to a diet for weeks or months and then, for whatever reason, you lose control and gain all the weight back?  Probably, yes.  The reAliTy is, even in the most perfect circumstances PeaCe wItH FoOd won’t always be as peaceful as it sounds.

Speaking of which, I don’t know about you but the holiday goodies are making this “eating stuff” even more difficult.  I’m trying to sample in moderation, but again…trying to be real with you…it is a struggle and some days I just give up.

Confession: Right before I sat down to write this post, I had inTenTions of ending my horrible eating day with a glass of milk and cookies.  I just happened to text my sis and she said she was at the gym.  Hearing from her is what it took to “snap out of it”.  Instead, I’ve opted to write you and sAvE myself the extra calories and disappointment I would have felt in 10 minutes.  Thank you sis and to you readers for detouring my thoughts so my day could end better than expected!

You are NEVER alone.


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Filed under Getting Real, Hard Reality, Life, Peace w/ Food, You

{Peace With Food}

This past April, on the Suede Sofa, Lara and I began a 6-month challenge encouraging our readers to pursue a dream or a goal.  My PeRsOnaL ChAllEnGe was to have PeAcE WiTh FoOd.  I’ll have to admit, although the challenge ended October 1st, I’m still working on that.  In fact, this has been a work in progress for um…. well over 25 years.

I first gained excess weight when I was a sophomore in high school.  During the following summer I joined WeiGhT WaTcHeRs and lost all the weight I had gained.  Because I was an athlete it wasn’t too difficult keeping it off.

Then came college.  I gained the “FrEsHmEn 15” plus some.  Having the freedom to eat whatever I wanted and whenever I wanted, those pounds didn’t come off fast or easy.  The rest of my college years I saw my weight go up and down.  Mostly up.  By the time I got married, 10-plus years after college graduation, I had managed to get back to my HiGh ScHooL WeiGhT.  What a relief!

Then came children.  The scale went up once again.  Over 50 pounds.  But after my 2nd child was born I decided to GeT SeRioUs about losing the weight.  I was tired of all the fluctuations and wanted to establish life-long habits that would sustain the loss.

So, in April of 2009, after having a “CoMe To JeSuS” talk with myself I decided I would do whatever it took.  I had actually begged myself, in the “SpiRiT oF ExPeriMenTatiOn”, to try eating really healthy (lots of fruits and vegetables) and eliminate (for the most part) all junk food for just three months.  Along with eating healthy I wanted to exercise a lot, which wasn’t that big of a deal as it had already been part of my lifestyle.  So the decision was made.  I would live with ReCkLeSs AbAndOn and find out once and for all if this would “work” for me.  Well, three months later, I was 25 pounds lighter, so I guess the answer would be “Yes”.


If you are looking only at the numbers then the answer would be “Yes”, but if you looked at what was going on InTerNaLLy, the answer would be “No”.  Even though I reached my goal exactly by the date I had set, I wasn’t happy, nor at peace.  Immediately after hitting my goal of my all-time low I began to gain weight.  Over the next six months I gained about 13 pounds.  So once again I decided to go on a strict diet and lose the unwanted weight.

TaKe TwO:

This time around I TrAcKed My ProGreSs very closely.   I included everything from what caused my “mess-ups”, the time of the day I messed up, what was going on internally, etc.  The information was invaluable and as a result I have written about all my lessons in a book I hope to get published sometime soon.

On this second try I worked out even harder and lost even more than I had the first time around.  But due to an All-Or-NoThiNg mindset when I failed to reach my goal on the date I had set (I was only four pounds away) I threw my hands up and totally lost control for about a month which resulted in me gaining much of the weight back.

TaKe ThReE.

I’m on my third take, but this time is different.  I have a NeW oBjeCtiVe.  It is not a number on a scale or a number (a.k.a. a certain size) on the tag of a piece of clothing.  No more QuiCk FiXeS.  No more CraZy DiEts.  No more excessive workouts just to lose a pound or two.  No more being fixated on food whether that is dreaming of what I am going to eat, or being obsessed with eating only a certain kind or amount of food and staying within those strict limitations.

Instead it is…




Plain and simple.  And the contentment that comes with knowing that FoOd DoeSn’t RuLe My LiFe.

I’ll be sharing with you the LeSsoNs I have learned.  They have worked for me.  Maybe some will speak to you.  Others you may find obsolete.  Take what works and leave the rest behind.

If you find yourself on this journey I pray you FiNd HoPe and then the CouRaGe to take the steps to get to FrEeDoM and PeAcE WiTh FoOd.



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Filed under All-Or-Nothing, Inspiration, Peace w/ Food, You