Tag Archives: Parenthood

Okay for ME, but NOT for YOU…

I am hard on my kids.  Too hard, a lot of times, which always makes me regret it once I stop and think about how I’m treating them.  Instead of choosing my battles, I decide to take on every battle!  That is what SUPERMOM is all about, right?  Keeping a tight leash on your kids and setting the bar super high?  After some ReFleCtioN this week, maybe I should start looking for a new role model…

As Christians, we know how miserably we fail at numerous tasks and actions throughout our day, yet when we glance up at God we are reassured that He forgives and loves us no matter how much we are being a disappointment.  It is so comforting to know that when I make mistakes, at least someone still has my back…because HE knows we are human and are far from pErfeCt.

Yet WHY do I hold my kids to a different standard?  When they don’t do what I ask, or spill a cup FULL of pop on the floor, I repeatedly get on to them and ask why they didn’t listen or be more careful!!  Not only that, but I bring it up AGAIN when their Dad comes home and maybe even AGAIN before they go to sleep, in hopes that I am getting my point across!Scolding

When I make the same exact mistakes (just in adult form!), does God TrEaT me like that?  Never.  I always feel Him looking at me in a calm way, his eyes telling me that I need to pick myself up and go on.  I know I let Him down but I also know that once I acknowledge my weaknesses to Him, He moves on and doesn’t keep throwing it in my face. I really appreciate that about Him.

So why is it okay for me to fail God but not okay for others to fail me? As cHalleNgiNg as it will be, I am going to try to be as understanding and calm with my children as He is to me.  Sure, I’ll still get on to them and discipline when needed, but then I need to let it go and hope they make a better decision next time.  We know that kids won’t always do the right thing, but thankfully God doesn’t give up on us adults either!  With every year I get under my belt, I can see I’m going to need all the help and forgiveness I can get!

-Lara

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Saved By The Bell

Growing up with all sisters, I never knew what it was like to grow up around boys.  When we were bLesSeD with a baby boy over 2 years ago, our world changed forever.  I immediately learned how different (but good) life would be with a boy!

One of the main differences between Garrett and sister, Leanne, is that Garrett has little to no fear.  When that kid decides he wants something, he heads that diRecTion and never looks back.  Because we live in the country, with plenty of land to run around on, you can see how this poses a major problem.  The second we would turn around our little boy would be off eXploRinG, leaving us in a panic not knowing where to look.

Due to a few of these scares we took away his freedom when he went outside.  His FaVoRitE thing to do is to play outdoors, so you can only imagine the tantrums this created when he wanted to go and we didn’t have the time to take him.

My father-in-law happened to pick up a small cow bell at an auction.  We joked about how we should attach it to Garrett since he always runs off.  One morning, after another 2-year-old meltdown, I was desperate for him to have an atTitUde change.  I grabbed the bell, tied it to his pants, opened the windows and let him loose to play in the front yard.

Let me tell you….that bell changed EVERYTHING!

Garrett gets to play in the dirt as much as he wants, and I am always an earshot away.  I can get work done in the house and this gives him a break from me, in a way that I can know where he is at.  We’ve been doing this for several weeks now and Garrett’s temperament has changed drastically.  Now that he is able to release his eNerGy by playing outside, he is much happier and less likely to throw tantrums.  It is really cute too…every time he grabs his shoes, he always grabs his bell!  He knows he can’t go outside without it!

Who would have thought we’d be saved by a bell? If you are at at the end of your rope, I encourage you to talk to as many other people as you can AND exhaust all options. It may be as sImpLe as getting a cow bell…

Ring-a-ling! :)

Lara

 

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{Freedom To Be “Me”}

Hi Suede Sofa FriEnDs!  Good Monday morning!!

It’s been 10 months since Lara and I started this blog and one thing we really endeavor to do it to be real, transparent, and give hope.  Lara says that “LiFe presents our posts.” and I would have to agree.  We try to write about life and all that it brings as those circumstances come our way.  Today I’m thinking about a situation that occurred yesterday as my family was getting ready for church.

I sent my girls upstairs to get dressed.  When Belle, my 4-year-old picked out a cute ruffled {SuMmEr} dress I was willing to oblige, as I knew she could wear a sweater over the sleeveless dress.  When I picked out some cute tights for her she had other ideas – casual mid-calf tights with black sparkly shoes with the glitter worn off.  This was not what I had in mind for her at all.  I wanted her to look “CuTe”. {And to be warm as it is the middle of January!}

Can you relate?  I love FaShiOn and when I see the cute kid catalogues with the kid models looking so put together, I want my kids to look well dressed like that.  But my kids don’t share my same ideas on StyLe.  So a decision had to be made.  Would I allow my child the freedom and independence to have a say in what she got to wear or would I insist on her wearing what I wanted her to wear, so that she {and ultimately I} can look good?

I understand there are some decisions where my kids won’t get a VoTe {principles, morals, modesty, etc.} however, in the little things that really don’t matter I’m trying to let them have a say in the matter.  Maybe you are past the 4 & 5-year-old stage and your issue is what college they will attend, what career to pursue, how your adult child conducts their life.  Are you giving your kids the FrEeDoM to be themselves, express themselves, and chose for themselves?  That is easier said than done, I know.  Frequently, I tell my girls that they will always be my “BaBiEs” – even when they have babies of their own.  And being able to have input in their life may just be part of parenthood.  But parenthood is also about respecting the gifts, temperament, interests, and UniQuEneSs that God has placed in each of my kids.  So, some days I’ll have to swallow hard, smile, and let them express their uniqueness because when they are grown and on their own, in their heart I want them to know, “My mom gave me the freedom to be “Me”.

:)

Robynn~

P.S.  I hadn’t intended this to be a “piggy-back” post on Lara’s post a couple weeks ago titled “Me”, but it sort of is, so check it out by clicking here!

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I Am…A NEW MoM

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Mommy Guilt

I have yet to talk to another Mom that doesn’t feel guilty about some area of MotHeRhooD.  Do you feel like you don’t spend enough time with your kids?  Aren’t as good of a Mom as the friend down the street? Feel bad that you overcooked dinner for the family?  Unfortunately, most Moms could make an infinite list of questions because we never FEEL like we’re good enough.

Whether you are a Mom or not, we all know what guilt feels like.  Guilt is usually caused by ComParinG ourselves to someone else.  Comparisons are PointLess because every person’s situation is different.  Remember that YOU are a good Mom because YOU are doing the best that YOU can for your situation.  I sometimes feel guilt for not sending my daughter to preschool, but I know that I will ReGrEt not spending that last year at home with her.  People assume that I don’t spend time with my kids because I have a home business, but they don’t know I get up early so I can get most of my stuff done before they get out of bed.  I know the reasons why I do what I do and when I start to feel guilty I have to quickly remind myself that this is the best thing for MY situation.

I know this post won’t cure your Mommy guilt indefinitely, but as a Mom I know how important it is to be reminded to not be so hard on myself.  Stop comparing yourself to other Moms and focus on the things you do well. Ask yourself this:  If I wasn’t aware of what others were doing, would I feel guilty about______?  Do things that your heart naturally tells you to do. No one knows your situation better than YOU so stop letting others control how you feel.

~Lara

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