…what do you do? Whether it was a friend from 2nd grade, a boyfriend, or family member, we can all remember of a time that we hurt someone. If you were lucky, they forgave you. If not, you may still be seeking forgiveness.
I’ve really struggled with this question over the years. It is upsetting when you do everything you can to mAke iT riGhT—apologizes, phone calls, a kind demeanor, or even space away from you—to result in nothing more than a cold shoulder years later. This is frustrating and can often tempt you to be angry at the person. It’s this vicious cycle of you wanting forgiveness, them staying resentful, and then you being mad at them for still holding a grudge!
There comes a time when YOU just have to LeT Go. Let Go of the fact that they may never forgive you. If you have exhausted all options, you have done the best that you can. You can’t live the rest of your life in misery because of something you’ve already tried to fix. When you see them, continue to be friendly but don’t put your life on hold because you may never get the answer you are wanting.
And if you are the one that is still holding a grudge…re-read this post and put yourself in their shoes. Realize how much you are missing out simply because you won’t give one of the biggest gifts you can give…FORGIVENESS.
Doug and I woke up one morning and had a small disagreement before he went to work. After he left, I spent the next hour FeeLiNg horrible in my responses to our conversation. I felt insensitive and unsupportive. No matter what I did to distract my thoughts I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened and how gUiLty I felt.
So…I sent him a text that SAID: “Honey I am SO sorry about this morning. I will try harder. Please forgive me.”
In the text back, HE SAID: “Oh, what are you upset about? Whatever happened, I already forgot about it. Have a good day!”
Men. Aren’t they amazing how quickly they “move on” after a fight and don’t consume their entire day analyzing arguments? I have found that if I apologize quickly or improve my mood when conversations start off on the wrong foot, he is already way ahead of me!
I challenge you to try this! When you get in an argument, be the “MAN” in the relationship. Despite how difficult, improve your mood and MOVE ON. If you do, most likely they will too. Don’t waste endless hours replaying the fight in your mind and use that time doing better things with the ones you love.
Sometimes you just have to CuT YoUr LoSsEs and move on. Easier said than done, I know. But I’m working on it. My friend, D.J. says to “ReFLecT nOt ReGrEt.” That is how we are to view the past. I don’t know about you, but I get those two switched around from time to time.
Here is what I have come to learn: When you reflect on the past it becomes your TeAcHeR. When you regret about the past it becomes your ToRmEnTeR. The beauty is that we get to choose the setting: cLassRooM or pRisOn CeLL. That choice is our’s alone.
Are you having a hard time reconciling the past?
Let it go.
Its time to MoVe On BaBy, MoVe On.