I got up this morning with a mission to help my daughter. As a homework assignment, she was asked to gather pictures of herself which capture her favorite things. As I began skimming through files of photos on my computer, you would have thought I was spending most of my time smiling and reminiscing about the past. To my surprise, recalling those days turned into feelings of discouragement as my role as MOM.
You see, after I had my first daughter, ten years ago, I did a great job taking lots of pictures and getting them into a scrapbook in a timely matter. As life got more hectic and our family grew, I didn’t capture the same moments by photograph with my other two kids—probably because I usually had one kid on my hip and a basket of laundry in the other.
The reality is, life will always be hectic and I CaN’t Do iT ALL. As soon as I had those sunken feelings this morning I could see how this day was going to pan out—feeling guilty ALL day about the numerous things I should be doing better. Like how I should plan meals ahead of time instead of pulling meat from the freezer at 4:59 every afternoon…or logging our monthly expenses in a spreadsheet every month instead of staring at a pile of receipts from the last 5 months. The list is never-ending, isn’t it?
Instead, as soon as my daughter left for school, I shut those feelings down by thinking to myself, “I’m not going there”. I’m not going to spend the entire day beating myself up about my areas of weakness as a mother. To help, I tried to imagine what our seven-month-old would say to me when he becomes an adult. If he knew how terrible I felt for not taking pictures of his sweet feet when he was only a few days old, he would say, “Mom….really? That’s what you’re worried about? It’s not a big deal. Really.” And then he would go on to remind me how I would play tractors with him on the living room floor and spontaneously make him a farmyard out of old oatmeal containers and cereal boxes. Ahh…thank you, my sweet kiddos, for loving me for my imperfect self. And Leanne, make sure you remember this if you become a Mom some day. Don’t be so hard on yourself :)
So if this is you today, pick yourself up and start focusing on the things you do well. You simply can’t do it all. Don’t let special moments (like scanning through years of pictures and reflecting on the past with your kids) pass you by because you are beating yourself up, wishing you’d done better.
From one parent to another, I think you are doing just fine ;)
I have to admit I am a total junkie for the Your E Cards that have been popping up all over Facebook and Pinterest, but this one really pushes my buttons. When my son was born my husband and I made the decision together that I would leave my job and stay home to raise our kids. I understand that this choice is not something that is possible for every family and that there are many women who may not want to leave their career. However, I am finding there is still a disrespect for the stay-at-home mom with the “What do you do all day” AtTiTuDe and in turn the working moms seem to face the, “Oh you’re so lucky you get a break at work” NoNsEnSe!
Keep in mind…I’m not an expert. I am basically going off of my own experience and that of my sister who is a working mom of a 3 1/2 year old. In this day and age we are all just trying to get through the day whether we work or not. When are we all going to WaKe Up and realize that stay-at-home, working, part-time, full-time, married, divorced…WhAtEvEr…we are in this together. Instead of putting others down or making them feel inferior maybe we should take a minute and think of what their day might be like. I think a better rule of thumb would be…
Don’t Judge Until You’ve
Walked A Mile In Their Shoes
~Robyn (Jersey Girl)
Ever feel like you are FaiLiNg as a parent? Chances are your kids would disagree with you. There have been countless times when I have planned an activity that didn’t work out, attempted to bake brownies that came out burnt on the sides and gooey in the middle, or promised to devote uninterrupted time to my kids but got sidetracked by the phone, doorbell, email, or some other emergency that needed to be taken care of. I truly believe we Mommies are much harder on ourselves than any jury of kids would ever be.
I was reminded of this just last week when I tried out a recipe for sidewalk paint made with food-coloring and cornstarch. In my mind the paint was a total fail…it was too runny, made a giant mess, took me too long to make, and it stained the patio. If you asked my kids what they thought I guarantee they would disagree with me. They loved watching the red and blue paint turn into purple and had a BlAsT painting each others feet with this new concoction of color that Mommy made for them.
The next time you are being hard on yourself as all of us Moms do…take a look at life through the eyes and mind of your child and you will find that you too are a SuPeR MoM!
~Robyn (Jersey Girl)
There are so many moments when I look into my daughter’s eyes and see glimpses of the past where I almost feel like I am looking at myself and am overcome with a feeling of “I’ve seen that face before.” Then there are times when my mind shifts to a place where I wonder what the future will be like for my little princess. This Mother’s Day, we would like to share some of our favorite MoThEr & DaUgHtEr MoMeNtS with you!
~Robyn (Jersey Girl)
Robyn & Abby
Robynn, Sophia, & Isabella
Source: Portrait Designs By Lasha
We couldn’t think of a more fitting song for such a special day…please enjoy one of our FaVoRiTeS!
In My Daughter’s Eyes by Martina McBride
HaPpY MoThEr’S DaY
As I CeLebRate my son’s 4th birthday this week and my daughter’s 2nd birthday next month, I also celebrate the amazing gift of mOtherHood. Always knowing that being a mom was the #1 goal of my life, I couldn’t understand why I was constantly crying after I brought my son home from the hospital. Baby blues quickly turned to full blown postpartum depression. Thoughts like, “What was I thinking when I wanted to have a baby,” “Am I ever going to have a conversation with my husband again,” and “I just want to be me again” raced through my head.
Feelings of shame, guilt, and fear felt like they were suffocating me. I even thought my son might be better off without me. I thank God for my wonderful friends, family, and doctors for Getting Me throuGh my darkest moments. With therapy and medication I slowly got better and became the mother I so longed to be.
Two years later I delivered my beAutiful baby girl and like a dark cloud drifting over me, my PPD was back. As I held my daughter in my hospital bed, I looked at my husband and said, “It’s back.” You would think it would be easier the second time but it was actually worse. I knew the scary thoughts…I had just lived them two years ago. “Why me” was all I could think this time.
Both bouts with PPD lasted about 2 months. I try not to dwell on those days as time lost with my babies, but as times that made me FiGht to be the mother I am today. I now know that there is No ShaMe in having PPD, it wasn’t my fault that I got it, and with help you can get through it. Whether you or someone you know is going through PPD or any obstacle, remember you CAN get through it and are stronger than you think!
~Robyn (Jersey Girl)