I once heard a quote that said, “I would rather ShOoT for the StArS and HiT the MoOn, than shoot for nothing and hit it every time.” Unfortunately, I can’t relate. My natural tendency is to say, “Give me the stars or nothing at all, BaBy” It’s insane, I know. But I’m working on it.
If you have the “All-Or-Nothing” mindset, you know what I’m talking about. You actually believe that PeRfeCtiOn is pOsSiBle, so while the world is passing you by you aimlessly grasp for the air. Could it be that American poet Wallace Stevens was on to something when he said, “The ImPerFeCt is our PaRaDiSe”? One way I overcome this mindset is to think about all the bLeSsiNgS in my life that I would not have had things gone according to my plans.
What pLeAsUrEs are unknowingly slipping right past you as you pursue an illusive “All”?
Many MoOns have passed without me getting to enjoy them, but not any more. I’ve had the ReVeLaTiOn that “All” is OvErrAtEd. I’ll still shoot for the stars, but if I miss them, I’ll take the moon, Thank-you. :)
We all seem to have that InFaMoUs GoRillA hanging around – that thing that is larger than life, distracting, paralyzing, and oh so annoying.
My 800 pound gorilla? “All-Or-Nothing” thinking. I’m not sure why I deal with this issue. I’ve tried to trace it back to my childhood, my personality and a host of other psychological explanations, but to no avail. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter “why”, you just need to get on with it and deal with the “what”.
This issue first surfaced for me as af freshman in college. In high school I was a good student. I did exactly what my teachers asked and as a result got A’s and B’s. However, when I went to college and realized I could not read the 1,000 pages assigned in a particular class for one week I threw up my hands and simply gave up. I never got any D’s, but I did get plenty of C’s – something that previously was foreign to me. My “All-Or-Nothing mindset just wouldn’t let me AdApT aNd AdJuSt to the situation. I made it through college alright, but did so disappointed, knowing that I did not reach my potential and definitely did not give it my best.
As time went on my “All-Or-Nothing” thinking continued to plague me in other areas of my life until I finally said, “EnOuGh!”
(I’ll share how I’ve learned to deal with this issue in future posts. So, stay tuned…!)
I may not have mastered this entirely (YET) but the one thing I have to say is. . .
“GOOD RIDDANCE MR. GORILLA!!”
Adapted from my book on peace with food.