Since school started in September we’ve been driving past the same crossing guard four mornings a week on our way to my son’s school. About a month ago my son decided he was going to start waving good morning to this man on our way to nursery school. So I’m driving my bright-eyed, excited, 4 1/2 year old waving and shouting “Good morning” through my mini-van window and to my surprise he received absolutely NO response. Nicholas turned to me and grumbled, “Mommy he didn’t wave back to me.” I thought fast and replied, “Well maybe he didn’t see you today, you can try again tomorrow.”
After days and weeks went by with no waves being returned I was out of diplomatic responses. I had already used up…
“Maybe his glasses are so dark that he couldn’t see you.”
“Maybe he was too cold to lift his arm.”
“Maybe he was too busy talking on his phone.”
What I ReAlLy wanted to say was, “Maybe he’s just not a nice person and can’t take two seconds to wave back to a 4 year old!”
OK Robyn…deep breath and pull it together!
I finally decided that instead of making up silly excuses for this man who I don’t even know, I was going to be honest with Nicholas. On the next drive to school when the crossing guard didn’t wave back to Nicholas, I didn’t make up my usual white lie. Instead I explained that there are all different kinds of people in the world with lots of different personalities just like the seven dwarfs in Snow White. I told him that he was like the dwarf named Happy and the crossing guard was like the dwarf name Grumpy. Nicholas started naming all of the other dwarfs and we talked more about different kinds of people. I told Nicholas that it made me happy that he wanted to wave good morning to a stranger even if that person didn’t wave back in return and that I hope he stays as friendly as he is now….AlWaYs.
Don’t you appreciate it when someone is completely HonEst with you about a situation you have been secretly struggling with? As soon as they open up, you immediately think, “What a relief! I thought I was the OnLy oNe dealing with that!”
When you get in those situations, do you return the FaVor by opening up to them, or do you AcT like you can’t relate because you don’t want to admit your faults in fear that it could ruin your reputation of appearing PerfecT?
You can’t expect to GaiN a lot from others if you aren’t expecting to open up with them in return. People that open a door and “hear crickets” are likely to not open that door again. So next time someone ShaRes a deep thought, at the very least, show empathy or appreciation for their honesty. ExPress to them that their openness helps you with your own personal struggles and gives ComFort in knowing that you are not the “only one” that goes through stuff like that!
It seems like I have always tried to lose weight. When I had a baby, it was a cHallenGe to get back to my previous weight. Even during my pre-kid days, I was trying different weight loss tactics to shed those last several pounds. This year I’ve had my BEST SUCCESS at eating right and in moderation, thanks to one thing…my accountability partner!
In the past, I remember wanting to ask someone to hold me accountable for my weight loss. Subconsciously though, I knew if I ever wanted to quit my diet, I could give up and no one
would know. In reAlity, I was setting myself up to fail before I ever started! Asking someone to hold you accountable is scary, but in the end, it will determine how serious you really are about wanting to cHanGe.
Finding the right person to share your jouRney with is important. My accountability person is someone that I don’t necessarily see often, but who I have to share my weigh-in number with every week. We don’t work out together, but text or call each other with what we are up to (good and bad). You must be comFortable enough with this person so you can “be real” and trust that even if you gain a pound or two, they won’t judge you but continue to enCouRage.
Is there a habit you can’t kick? Perhaps you should REACH OUT to a good friend and ask them for help. It not only will strengthen your relationship with them, but have poSitiVe Results on achieving your goal!
P.S — A big shout-out to my accountability partner today! Wouldn’t have the success I’m having if it wasn’t for YOU!! Thanks :)