I’ve had friends tell me “You’ll just know when you are finished wanting to have more babies.” It seemed some vague to me…you’ll just know. How will I know? Will the two kids I already have drive me to the point of insanity one day and the image of a newborn swaddled in a receiving blanket will no longer seem appealing to me? Or will I wake up one day and realize the indecisiveness over wanting a third child just isn’t there any more and I can finally get rid of all of the baby stuff that is piled to the ceiling in my basement? I’ve wondered this since the birth of my daughter for over 3 years and can finally say I understand the “You’ll just know” feeling.
This past month has been swamped with baby news. Friends have been giving birth left and right and pregnancy announcements have been popping up all over the place. All of this baby news of course made me think, “Maybe we should try for a 3rd.” I went back and forth with it in my head for days even though my husband had put the idea of a 3rd to rest long ago but I just couldn’t come to peace with it. Then it hit me, as I was daydreaming about the possibilities of expanding our family, the black cloud of postpartum depression loomed over me. I suffered from severe postpartum depression after the birth of both of my babies. (Click here to read my postpartum story, Baby Blues to Baby Bliss). It was to date the most difficult thing I have had to face. I started to feel the tightening in my chest and the ache in my heart. I thought of the two beautiful and healthy children that I was lucky enough to give birth to and how I would never want them to see me go through that nightmare again. At that moment I JuSt KnEw that I was done having babies and that my family was complete.
I am sure the “You just know” moment is different for every woman. Whether it is the decision to not have children at all, or to not add any more children to the family you already have. I suddenly feel a sense of peace knowing that my decision is made and will live each day loving my family of 4.
Please share your “I just knew” moments in the comments section!
~Robyn (Jersey Girl)