Tag Archives: Goals

I’d Be Missing Out

We can all think of a time when we wanted to isolate ourselves from the wOrLd.  We believe if we didn’t have jobs, we wouldn’t have to deal with stress or deadlines.  If we could disconnect ourselves with people—family, friends, strangers—we’d never have to deal with awkward moments or conflict.  If we didn’t have to run errands, we could avoid being reminded of how great everyone else “has it” when we are out and about.

As the year of 2012 wrapped up, I found myself thinking a lot about all the awkward, uncomfortable, stressful and difficult moments of the year.  And you know what I realized?  If I was able to erase those moments of my life, I would have been missing out.  If I would have quit my block business after making some stressful mistakes, I would no longer get to experience the J O Y I receive when customers send me thank you notes after their blocks arrive.  I could have avoided an awkward moment by not talking to a stranger on a plane, but I would have missed out on an aMaZinG cOnVerSatiOn about his faith journey.  Not to mention the moments with friends and family through the year that involved moments of frustration, confusion or discomfort.  If I never had those interactions, our relationships wouldn’t be as close as they are today, let alone the sPeCiaL mEmoRieS we made together.  And as you know, sharing the move of our house last summer required a major gulp of humility, but I would have missed out on the sense of FREEDOM I felt by sharing my real life…just how it is…and knowing that you accept me…just the way I amgirl

Wearing your heart on your sleeve, doing things out of your comfort zone (looking for a new job, trying a new hobby, meeting new people), and standing up for what you believe in are all very hard things to do.  Many times they don’t even seem worth all the effort they require.  But let me assure you, they are.  Your life is richer, more meaningful, and above all, impacting more people, all because you are willing to face your fears, deal with hurt, and conquer challenges by moving on despite the outcome.

So what will 2013 look like for you?  This year I am welcoming more embarrassing moments, uncomfortable conversations and feelings of defeat as I work toward new goals.  You are going to have to deal with these weird feelings/emotions regardless (because we are human!) so why not do them while enriching your life?!  I don’t want to MiSs OuT on the best life I can have….do you?

Lara

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The Help

I need help.  We all need help.

On Thursday I talked about ways to hold yourself accountable when wanting to change an area of your life in my post Back to Reality. This applies to any area or time in our life.  We all have things we want to improve, but don’t know how to get there.  Where can you reach out for HELP?

One area of my life that I wanted to improve was my daily enthusiasm for deepening my faith.  I had been in a rut and didn’t know where to start. MY HELP this week has been listening to Christian music.  Let me tell ya, it is working!

I had originally tried diving into the bible, and to be honest, all I kept doing was staring at the words on the page.  At that point in time, IT WASN’T WORKING!  So if you can’t get momentum, keep trying until something clicks!  Maybe your new HELP will be a friend you aren’t thinking of, a new book, getting involved in a group/organization, researching the internet….explore ALL options! Don’t give up!

And in case you are where I am, below are some of my new FAVS!  Check them out, and SING and DANCE with me!!  (If you can’t see the video’s below, copy and paste the titles into youtube)

Counting on God–New Life Worship

Phil Wickham – At Your Name (Yahweh Yahweh) 

Audrey Assad – Sparrow

NewWorldSon-Learning To Be The Light

Happy Sunday!

Lara

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Filed under Faith, God, Pastor DJ

I’m working hard and getting nowhere

Do you ever feel like that?   I have felt that way on our jOurNey to get out of debt.  On Tuesday, I shared the story on how we got out of denial and started tackling our finances in my “Getting Out of Financial Denial” post.  Does that mean the process has been easy and I haven’t wanted to quit?  No way!

Today I wanted to shed some light on the “lows” of working toward a gOaL.  There will be times when you feel like you are making no progress.  When we first started tackling our debt I felt like we were moving mountains.  But as time went on there were moments we felt defeated because of unexpected bills or kinks in the “plan”.

Life isn’t easy.  There will be suRpriSes and setbacks.  In tough times, Doug and I talk a lot about where we’ve come and the good things in store for our future.  When we need inspiration we tune into Dave Ramsey’s radio show for the “Debt Free Fridays” to hear how other people turned their financial disaster into a sUcCeSs story.  We surround ourselves with friends that have similar goals and give us support.  We choose NOT to give up because we know there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you are feeling defeated in some area of your life, take heart!  You may not feel like you are making progress, but YOU ARE.  Eventually you will see your hard work pay off.  Believe it and persevere.  The greatest rewards come to those who work hard and wait….

Lara

Live-It List Hidden Question of the Week

List an item on your live it list that you will do with another person and your relationship with that person.

Comment below to receive 1 point.

For more details: https://thesuedesofa.com/2011/10/02/win-a-coach-purse-the-details/

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Filed under Finances, Getting Real, Hard Reality, Life

Sweet Beginnings

I always have a hard time getting back into the SwInG of things once Christmas and New Years are over.  I get so wrapped up in preparing for the holidays that when they are finally over I find myself without any motivation to start anything else.  To make matters worse I keep hearing about everyone starting their resolutions and I don’t even want to take down my Christmas decorations.  It is like I am in denial that the holidays are really over!

Not wanting to let the winter blues get the best of me, I knew I needed to get moving and do SoMeThInG.  Yesterday after I dropped my son off at nursery school, I decided to do something simple and bake brownies with my daughter.  It wasn’t a goal on my Live-It List and it wasn’t a huge undertaking, but it was SoMeThInG.  Not to mention they were pretty yummy and made one little 2 year old really excited to be “Mommy’s helper”.  

Are you finding it hard to get yourself going these days?  Reluctant to JuMp into your Live-It List?  Don’t feel like you need to move mountains in week one.  The year has just begun!  Do something you enjoy that makes you happy and you might just find yourself ready to tackle your goals!

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Rely on Friends to LIVE IT!

Last Friday I made my 9 day promise to be a more patient mommy and not “LoSe It” when things get out of control.  Within 3 hours of the post going up I was already struggling to keep my cool when my kids seemed to be on an all out crusade to do the opposite of anything I was asking them to do!  Thankfully my husband stepped in and told me to go out and run my errands by myself.  I got in my mommy mini-van and listened to my Christmas music and savored each uninterrupted moment I had as I drove.  While I was out I sent Lara a text saying that I seemed to be FaILiNg miserably at my 9 day promise.  She wrote back some great advice…”Actions are stronger than words.”  Now when my kids act up instead of yelling I am taking Lara’s advice and am just moving them to time-out without saying anything.  They are old enough to know why they are in trouble without me going on and on about it and saying nothing keeps me from “losing it”.  By the time their time-out is over I can talk to them about what they did in a calm manner.

When working on your Live-It List, think about the people you can ReLy on to help you be successful.  Whether it be skydiving or completing a quilt, think of the people in your life that you can reach out to who can help you AcHieVe your goals!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

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Filed under Friends, Getting Real, Inspiration, Life, Live-It Ideas, Live-It List, Relationships, Uncategorized

Live-It: LESS IS MORE

Over the weekend I spoke with a relative who gave me the iDeA to share the “less is more” concept when brainstorming your live-it list.  Her new year’s resolution for 2011 was to take at least one photo every, single day. Her Goal was not necessarily to be artsy and super creative, but to simply keep track of the year, one day at a time.  Some of her posts were short and others were long, as she never committed to writing a certain amount, which may have discouraged her to continue.  The most important thing was to come up with 1 picture to signify every day that year.

I especially like that she said being forced to take a daily picture helped her to “loOk uP” in life vs. always looking down.  Isn’t that cool?!   That is so true, and after talking to her, I could see how much this goal had really opened her eyes to things in the world that she normally may have ignored!

We may think we have to come up with such aMaziNg and out-of-this-world things to put on our live-it list, when in fact it is the basic, everyday things that often eNrich our lives the most.  In what ways can you simplify some of the items on your list?  Maybe you want to “enjoy life more” or “have more quality family time”.  In order to achieve those things you don’t need to take expensive trips, spend money, or do something extreme.  How can you sImpLify those items using the resources you have and make it a convenient way to incorporate it in your daily routine?  Remember, less is more…so go down every item on your list and ask yourself, ‘how can I simplify this to make it more attainable’?  You might be surprised at the new items you come up with!

If you have any ideas, please share by commenting below.  We have many people working on their lists this week.  Help encourage others by sharing your thoughts!

~Lara

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Filed under Live-It Ideas, Live-It List

{Reverse Resolution}

We are all familiar with InFaMoUs New Year’s Resolutions.  I’ve read the statistics for the percentage of people who actually stick to them – its DiSmaL.  I think one explanation may be that for some reason JaNuAry 1st seems to be this magical “date”.  As the calendar turns over, people think they have turned over a new leaf, as well.   However,  because of their inactivity, instead of being able to “HiT tHe GroUnd rUnNing” many people find that they are HiGh-CeNteRed and just can’t seem to overcome the inertia.  I know.  I’ve been there many times.

A few years ago I, unintentionally, was motivated to come up with a list (in September/October) of projects I wanted to complete by January 1.  The list was long.  But I was so InSpiRed to check off all my projects by the NeW YeAr that it propelled me forward.  I knew that if I only accomplished half the list, or even a fourth of the list, I could count it a success.  I was doubtful that I could complete the list, but once I got the ball rolling it was like a MoViNg TrAiN.  Not only did I complete the list, I ended up adding more projects to the list. 

As Lara and I have been talking about our “Live-It List” lately, I decided to do the same thing this year and surprisingly the same results occurred.  Why, I’m not sure.  Maybe it’s because mentally it makes me feel as though I am getting a HeAd StArT on the new year.   Maybe it’s because the thought of having all of these projects done before January 1 is (for me) down right ExCiTiNg.  Whatever it is, I think I have a new take on the New Year’s Resolution.  I’m calling it “ReVeRsE ReSoLuTion”.   Basically, instead of designating January 1 the start date, I am designating it the end date.  Does that mean that I won’t have any goals for the New Year?  No.  But it does mean that I can TaKe tHe PreSsuRe oFf and actually enjoy the beginning of a new year as I “hit the ground running.”

:)

Robynn~

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“Confidence Boost” – The Challenge (Wk 8)

Many times when we start off towards a goal or dream, it is because we are unsatisfied with some area in our life.  It may be that we have failed miserably and are hoping to make a change.  Misery after all, can be a GrEaT mOtiVaTor.  If that is the case, then, how can we gain confidence if we don’t have many successes under our belt?

I have found the best way to RacK uP sUcCeSs is one small step at a time.  This is really important because success breeds success.  How do you do this?  By setting a goal that is just at the end of your fingertips.  Something small and attainable, but also something that is going to require you to do something that you haven’t already done.  Then, as you begin to experience success you can little by little set bigger goals.

Don’t overlook the PoWeR of achieving a small goal!  I originally would look down on setting small goals.  They didn’t seem challenging enough to me, so I never set any.  My goals were always BIG ones that had no guarantees and were much riskier.  They were also few and far between.  This was a huge mistake because I missed out on laying a foundation of successes.

If your goal is to get organized, don’t think that organization means spending an entire Saturday getting your messy space organized.  Your small step of success may be to spend 15 minutes a day on that project.  Each time you spend 15 minutes towards this goal, you have chalked up a success.  Do this for seven days and you have seven successes tallied up!  Maybe you are far from seeing that space organized, but you getting closer to your goal and are developing CoNfiDenCe because you are experiencing success.

This approach allows you to succeed every day.  What are the small steps you can take beginning today?

Enjoy Your Small Successes Today!

~Robynn

P.S.  Today’s post is an excerpt from a book I’m currently writing on my path to peace with food.  I’m writing this book in conjunction with our six-month challenge.  Thanks for the inspiration!

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I AM…An Amateur Web Designer

•To visit Jenny’s website work, go to www.letterblockshop.com

•For more “I Am…” stories, click here!

•Do you or someone you know have a story that could inspire other women?  We would LOVE to feature you!  Email us at suedesofa@yahoo.com

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How Do You Measure “More” & “Better”? – The Challenge (Wk. 3)

Sometimes goals are very cOnCreTe.  You want to save up money to buy a car, go to school to get a nursing degree, or run your first 5K.  These goals are very specific.  You either have reached the goal or not.  But, then there are those goals that aren’t so concrete such as you want to be a better wife, have more patience with your kids, or not be so worried about what others think of you.  These goals are much more vague and although they are noble and worthwhile to pursue, if you don’t make them specific you will ever really know if you accomplished the goal.

So, how do you make a vague goal sPeCiFic?  The best way to do this is to ask yourself what that quality looks like in concrete terms.  For example, if your goal is to be a better wife, what does being a “better wife” look like in your eyes?  Could you be a better listener by giving your husband 100% of your attention when he is talking to you, have dinner waiting for your husband when he comes home from work, be more supportive of him by not criticizing him around friends and family?

Once you know what a “better wife” looks like then you will need to quantify it.  (This will probably look different from everyone else depending on you and your husband’s needs, personalities, and individual situations.  Don’t think this has to be a carbon copy of someone else.) For example, “I will have dinner on the table when my husband comes home from work 4 out of 5 times a week.”  “I will plan a night for us to go out on a date and do something we both enjoy at least once a week.”  These goals are very specific.  You either did them or you didn’t.

Let me share a personal example with you.  In the SuedeSofa’s six-month Challenge, my goal is to be at peace with food.   I know in order to do this, I must use self-control in my eating.  That is a good goal to have, but how do I know if I am using “self-control?”  I have turned that vague goal into a specific one by quantifying it.  One bad habit I had was eating all my food for that day by breakfast or lunch.  Then I would try to compensate by skipping dinner.  My specific goal to counteract that bad habit is to eat three meals a day – saving calories/points/etc for each meal.  I want to do this at least 4 days a week.  At the end of the week I know whether I met my goal or not.

Notice that I am taking <s m a l l  s t e p s> in this goal.  It would be unrealistic if I expected myself to do this seven days a week.  But 4 times a week is an achievable goal.  Some weeks I may be successful, other weeks I may falter, but I am at least moving towards the target of self-control.

In this process it is important that you don’t expect perfection, but rather PrOgReSs.  As long as you are getting closer to the goal you are succeeding.  If you seem to be failing miserably it may be time to reassess your goal.  Make sure it is something that you can succeed at regardless how small the step.  As you get small successes under your belt you can up the ante little by little.  Remember this:  SuCcEsS bReEds sUcCesS.  

     So, go for “MoRe” and “BeTteR”.  Just be sure you know what “more” and “better” looks like.  Then you will have a clear cut target and increase the chances that you make it to your goal.

~Robynn

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Filed under Dream Big, Inspire, The Challenge