The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41 (KJV)
It is sometimes easier for people to focus on “tHe SpiRit is WilliNg” and forget that “tHe FleSh is wEaK”. They expect RoCk-sTaR pErfoRmaNce and beat themselves up when their performance is anything LeSs tHaN pErFeCt. Can you relate?
It’s important for you to understand that your HuMaN nAtuRe, your natural tendency, is to Go iN tHe diTch. I’m not being negative, just realistic. It’s just like a car. If you take your hands off the steering wheel as you are driving down the highway, it will eventually end up in the ditch. And although there is nothing you can do about that, there is a lot you can do to keep yourself “between the lines”. It is an active role you play daily.
However, from time to time you are going to make miStAkes. And when you do you must remember the flesh is weak. This is not a license to mess-up or an excuse to give-up, but it is a reminder that you are a WoRk iN pRoGreSs.
So, have cOmPasSion on yourself. Give yourself a break. LiGhtEn uP. The Bible calls this grace. And let me tell you that you will enjoy your journey a whole lot more (and so will everyone else around you) if you will just learn to give yourself (and others) this AmAziNg tHinG cAllEd GRACE.
Sometimes you just have to CuT YoUr LoSsEs and move on. Easier said than done, I know. But I’m working on it. My friend, D.J. says to “ReFLecT nOt ReGrEt.” That is how we are to view the past. I don’t know about you, but I get those two switched around from time to time.
Here is what I have come to learn: When you reflect on the past it becomes your TeAcHeR. When you regret about the past it becomes your ToRmEnTeR. The beauty is that we get to choose the setting: cLassRooM or pRisOn CeLL. That choice is our’s alone.
Are you having a hard time reconciling the past?
Let it go.
Its time to MoVe On BaBy, MoVe On.
The year is 2111. Your history has been written. What does yours say? What is your legacy?
I think, for me, this may be the single most important aspect of dealing with an All-Or-Nothing mindset – seeing the BiG PiCtUrE. The best way I have found to do this is to “write my legacy.” I literally have put down on paper what I want my legacy to look like. Here are some of my random thoughts:
- My kids don’t have to LoOk PeRfEcT.
- I (and my life) don’t have to look perfect.
- My house doesn’t have to look perfect. (Definitely easier said than done!)
- People take PriOriTy over things – (Including schedules, my plans, etc)
- My purpose – loving God and others
I don’t nail this 100% of the time, but I’m doing my best to hit the mark as much as I can. Hopefully I get closer every day.
What’s your legacy?
We all seem to have that InFaMoUs GoRillA hanging around – that thing that is larger than life, distracting, paralyzing, and oh so annoying.
My 800 pound gorilla? “All-Or-Nothing” thinking. I’m not sure why I deal with this issue. I’ve tried to trace it back to my childhood, my personality and a host of other psychological explanations, but to no avail. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter “why”, you just need to get on with it and deal with the “what”.
This issue first surfaced for me as af freshman in college. In high school I was a good student. I did exactly what my teachers asked and as a result got A’s and B’s. However, when I went to college and realized I could not read the 1,000 pages assigned in a particular class for one week I threw up my hands and simply gave up. I never got any D’s, but I did get plenty of C’s – something that previously was foreign to me. My “All-Or-Nothing mindset just wouldn’t let me AdApT aNd AdJuSt to the situation. I made it through college alright, but did so disappointed, knowing that I did not reach my potential and definitely did not give it my best.
As time went on my “All-Or-Nothing” thinking continued to plague me in other areas of my life until I finally said, “EnOuGh!”
(I’ll share how I’ve learned to deal with this issue in future posts. So, stay tuned…!)
I may not have mastered this entirely (YET) but the one thing I have to say is. . .
“GOOD RIDDANCE MR. GORILLA!!”
Adapted from my book on peace with food.