Tag Archives: always make people feel important

The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints

Quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Edition) by Dale Carnegie:

Chapter: The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints.

Principle:  Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

“Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves.  Let the other people talk themselves out.  They know more about their business and problems than you do.  So ask them questions.  Let them tell you a few things.”  (pg. 158)

“If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt.  But don’t.  It is dangerous.  They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression.  So listen patiently and with an open mind.  Be sincere about it.  Encourage them to express their ideas fully.”  (pg. 158)

“La Rochefoucauld, the French philosopher, said:  ‘If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.’  Why is that true?  Because when our friends excel us, they feel important; but when we excel them, they – or at least some of them – will feel inferior and envious.”  (pg. 162)

Principle:  Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

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How To Make People Like You Instantly

Quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Edition) by Dale Carnegie:

Chapter:  How To Make People Like You Instantly.

Principle:  Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.

“There is one all-important law of human conduct.  If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble.  In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness.  But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble.  The law is this:  Always make the other person feel important.  John Dewey, as we have already noted, said that the desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature: and William James said:  “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.’” (pg. 100)

“Jesus summed it up in one thought – probably the most important rule in the world:  “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.’” (101)

“Remember what Emerson said:  “Every man I meet is my superior in some way.  In that, I learn of him.’” (104)

“Talk to people about themselves,” said Disraeli, one of the shrewdest men who ever ruled the British Empire.  “Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.’” (pg. 111)

Principle:  Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.

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