Category Archives: Relationships

by | May 7, 2013 · 5:47 am

Honoring Teachers, Nurses, and Mothers!

It just occurred to me that this week we are celebrating three of my favorite professions…NuRsEs, TeAcHeRs, and MotHeRs!  Having been a first grade teacher for the 8 years prior to having my children I know how teaching can sometimes seem like a thankless job.  There are MaNy parents who go out of their way to let you know that they appreciate the difference you are making in their child’s life.  BUT…for every parent that thanks you there are 5 that say nothing and 5 that do nothing but complain about what you are NoT doing for their child!  I saved every card and thank you that was ever given to me by a parent or student and now being a parent myself know how important it is to simply say…ThAnK YoU!

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Next up…Nurses!  I have to say up until my late 20′s I had little experience with nurses.  I never broke a bone or needed surgery and had no reason to visit a hospital.  I guess I saved up my need for nurses for the grueling 2+ year struggle with infertility and then my 2 time bought with postpartum depression.  There is No WaY I would have made it through both of these experiences without the support of the nurses who took care of me during these times.  When going through my 3 IVF cycles, it was truly the nurses, not the doctors who knew my story.  I saw the doctors every morning on a rotating basis, but it was my nurses Mary and Pat who were my true cheerleaders.  They cried with me through the disappointments and were on the phone with me when I found out I was expecting my miracle baby.  It takes a SpEcIaL kind of person to be nurse and share in the highs and lows that come with the fragile life we are given.  To all of you…ThAnK YoU for all you do!

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Finally…a huge thank you to all of the MoThErS, AuNts, and GrAnDmAs!  For years I dreamed of having a baby and being a stay-at-home mom.  I am not sure what exactly I thought I was getting into, but I can remember saying a few times in the very beginning, “Where are the cute baby bunnies and little yellow duckies?!!!”  Baby gifts and baby cards always have cute little animals on them with cheerful little expressions…there have been MaNy a day that our house looks like a bull ran through a china shop and I have yet to see those cute animal faces!  That being said, I believe that being a mother is the hardest JoB in the world.  Every single decision you make directly affects those you hold so dear.  I wish all of you a VeRy HaPpY MoThErS DaY!

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~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

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by | May 5, 2013 · 4:44 pm

What Everybody Wants

Quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Edition) by Dale Carnegie:

Chapter:  What Everybody Wants.

Principle:  Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

“Wouldn’t you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively?  Yes?  All right.  Here it is:  ‘I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do.  If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.’  An answer like that will soften the most cantankerous old cuss alive.  And you can say that and be 100 percent sincere, because if you were the other person you, of course, would feel just as he does.”  (pg. 176)

“Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy.  Give it to them, and they will love you.”  (pg. 177)

Principle:  Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

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by | April 29, 2013 · 9:29 pm

A Formula That Will Work Wonders For You

Quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Edition) by Dale Carnegie:

Chapter:  A Formula That Will Work Wonders For You.

Principle:  Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

“Remember that other people may be totally wrong.  But they don’t think so.  Don’t condemn them.  Any fool can do that.  Try to understand them.  Only wise-tolerant, exceptional people even try to do that.”  (pg. 170)

“Success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpoint.”  (pg. 170)

“If, as a result of reading this book, you get only one thing – an increased tendency to think always in terms of the other person’s point of view, and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own – if you get only that one thing from this book, it may easily prove to be one of the stepping-stones of your career.”  (pg. 175)

Principle:  Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

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by | April 23, 2013 · 6:17 am

iPhone Mommy

I admit it…I spend WaY ToO MuCh time on my phone.  It is a habit I have been saying I am going to stop for a long time, but have yet to accomplish.  It would be bad enough if I was taking time away from my kids by just talking on the phone, but we all know that is not what I am doing.  I hop around from email, to Facebook, to Pinterest, to Twitter and sometimes throw in a game of skee-ball.  The problem is…NoNe of this is more important than my kids!  If you are hooked  on your phone and have been trying to stop, this letter written by Tonya Ferguson on her blog 4 Little Fergusons might just be what you need to finally put it down.

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Dear mom on the iPhone,

I see you over there on the bench, messing on your iPhone. It feels good to relax a little while your kids have fun in the sunshine, doesn’t it? You are doing a great job with your kids: You work hard, you teach them manners, have them do their chores.

But Momma, let me tell you what you don’t see right now …

Your little girl is spinning round and round, making her dress twirl. She is such a little beauty queen already, the sun shining behind her long hair. She keeps glancing your way to see if you are watching her.

You aren’t.

Your little boy keeps shouting, “Mom, MOM watch this!” I see you acknowledge him, barely glancing his way.

He sees that too. His shoulders slump, but only for a moment, as he finds the next cool thing to do.

Now you are pushing your baby in the swing. She loves it! Cooing and smiling with every push. You don’t see her though, do you? Your head is bent, your eyes on your phone as you absently push her swing.

Talk to her. Tell her about the clouds, Mommy. The Creator who made them. Tickle her tummy when she comes near you, and enjoy that baby belly laugh that leaves far too quickly.

Put your eyes back on your prize: your kids.

Show them that they are the priority. Wherever you are, be ALL there. I am not saying it’s not OK to check in on your phone, but it’s a time-sucker: User beware!

Play time at the park will be over before you know it.

The childhood of your children will be gone before you know it.

They won’t always want to come to the park with you, Mommy. They won’t always spin and twirl to make their new dress swish. They won’t always call out, “WATCH ME!”

There will come a point when they stop trying, stop calling your name, stop bothering to interrupt your phone time.

Because they know …

You’ve shown them, all these moments, that the phone is more important than they are. They see you looking at it at while waiting to pick up brother from school, during playtime, at the dinner table, at bedtime.

I know that’s not true, Mommy.

I know your heart says differently.

But your kids can’t hear your words, Mommy. Your actions are screaming way too loudly.

May our eyes rest upon those we love, first and foremost, and may everything else fall away in the wonderful, noisy, sticky-fingered glory of it all.

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~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

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by | April 22, 2013 · 6:47 pm

How To Get Cooperation

Quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Edition) by Dale Carnegie:

Chapter: How To Get Cooperation.

Principle:  Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

“Don’t you have much more faith in ideas that you discover for yourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a silver platter?  If so, isn’t it bad judgment to try to ram your opinions down the throats of other people?  Isn’t it wiser to make suggestions – and let the other person think out the conclusion.”  (pg. 164)

“No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing.  We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas.  We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.”  (pg. 165)

Principle:  Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

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by | April 21, 2013 · 6:18 am

Don’t Post Until You Check Snopes!

It seems like I am coming across more and more inaccurate information circling around Facebook.  My news feed has been full of stories and pictures of sick kids with captions like, “If this picture gets 1,000 “likes” so and so will pay for their surgery,” etc.  There has been a Photoshop  image of Bill Gates going around saying something like if you “share” this picture he might give you $5,000.  The other day I saw one with a picture of the gold dollar bill with a false statement about the government printing them with the “In God We Trust” omitted from the coin.

If something comes across your news feed that you are tempted to re-post or share, check its validity out on www.snopes.com.  You can type in a key word and information comes up about whether it is true or false.  It also gives you an explanation for why it is true or false.

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Click to see the Snopes responses to the Bill Gates Facebook scam and the gold dollar coin information that is circulating.

Bill Gates – Facebook Giveaway

Gold Dollar Coins Omitting “In God We Trust”

The bottom line is…YOU CAN’T TRUST EVERYTHING YOU READ…just because someone posts something, doesn’t mean it is TRUE!

If you are questioning something you read, check it out on Snopes Rumor Has It and find out the truth.

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

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by | April 15, 2013 · 8:32 am

The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints

Quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Edition) by Dale Carnegie:

Chapter: The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints.

Principle:  Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

“Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves.  Let the other people talk themselves out.  They know more about their business and problems than you do.  So ask them questions.  Let them tell you a few things.”  (pg. 158)

“If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt.  But don’t.  It is dangerous.  They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression.  So listen patiently and with an open mind.  Be sincere about it.  Encourage them to express their ideas fully.”  (pg. 158)

“La Rochefoucauld, the French philosopher, said:  ‘If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.’  Why is that true?  Because when our friends excel us, they feel important; but when we excel them, they – or at least some of them – will feel inferior and envious.”  (pg. 162)

Principle:  Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

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by | April 11, 2013 · 6:37 am

Easy Outdoor Game

The hour before dinner in our house is always difficult because the kids can’t help but get restless waiting to eat and waiting for my husband to get home from work.  In an attempt to avoid taking out every single backyard toy, I came up with this simple game that kept them busy and didn’t leave the yard a mess for me to clean up!

If you have a walkway similar to mine you can use each stone individually.  If you have concrete you can divide it up into squares and play.  I used sidewalk chalk to write down the sight words that my son is working on.  I also drew some pictures for my daughter to color in to keep her busy.  I had my son pick out a rock and instructed him to toss his rock onto the walkway filled with words.  Once it landed on a word he had to run to it, say the word, then bring the rock back to me.  It was such a simple game, but it kept him busy and helped him practice his words!

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You can modify this to any level:

*Write letters on the stones to practice upper and lowercase letter recognition.

*Write numbers on the stones and use 2 rocks.  Have your child add together the two numbers that the rocks land on.

*Draw pictures with your kids and have them tell you the first letter for each picture and the sound that it makes.

The possibilities are endless and the only thing you have to do is collect your sidewalk chalk when you are finished!

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~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

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by | April 8, 2013 · 7:47 am

The Secret Of Socrates

Quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Edition) by Dale Carnegie:

Chapter: The Secret of Socrates.

Principle:  Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

“In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing – and keep on emphasizing – the things on which you agree.”  (pg. 152)

“Hence it is of the very greatest importance that a person be started in the affirmative direction.  The skillful speaker gets, at the outset, a number of “Yes” responses.  This sets the psychological process of the listeners moving in the affirmative direction.”  (pg. 152)

“I finally learned that it doesn’t pay to argue, that it is much more profitable and much more interesting to look at things from the other person’s viewpoint and try to get that person saying “yes, yes.”  (pg. 156)

“Socrates, ‘the gadfly of Athens’ was one of the greatest philosophers the world has ever known. He did something that only a handful of men in all history have been able to do:  he sharply changed the whole course of human thought; and now, twenty-four centuries after his death, he is honored as one of the wisest persuaders who ever influenced this wrangling world.  His method?  Did he tell people they were wrong?  Oh no, not Socrates.  He was far too adroit for that…He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree.  He kept on winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses.”  (pg. 157)

“The Chinese have a proverb pregnant with the age-old wisdom of the Orient:  ‘He who treads softly goes far.’”  (pg. 157)

Principle:  Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

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by | April 3, 2013 · 5:39 am

Set Up to Fail

This week my son and I started planting our seeds indoors so that when the weather warms up they will be strong enough to be transplanted outside.  Once we had picked out our seeds we planted them in self-watering containers that we learned how to make on Pinterest.  With the internet and Pinterest available for gardening tips and ideas it is easy to get started even if you have never grown a single thing before.  For some reason as my son and I were working on our self watering containers, I had a flashback to my first year of teaching and a window box planter I painted with my class and attempted to grow flowers in.  That was almost 15 years ago and I didn’t have “how to” information right at my fingertips.  I didn’t even have a computer with the internet in my classroom at that time.  I bought dirt, about 5 different kinds of seeds, and we started planting.  I planted all of the seeds together in the windowbox one on top of the other and to my naivety thought they were going to grow into a beautiful garden for my class to enjoy.  I didn’t check plant size, seed spacing, and I certainly didn’t know anything about starting seeds in starter pots and then transplanting them once they had matured.

One afternoon after the kids had been dismissed for the day I was watering the windowbox and a veteran teacher (and avid gardener) came in to see what I was doing.  I showed her all of the seed packets and told her that I was planting a windowbox garden with the kids.  I remember like it was yesterday her smile and words, “I’m sure it will be beautiful.”  That was all she said and walked out of my classroom.  Looking back, I realize she knew my garden was going to be a disaster and didn’t say anything to me about how to ReAlLy grow a garden.  She had a wealth of knowledge and years of experience and made a conscious decision to leave me in the dark and LeT Me FaiL.  It wouldn’t bother me so much if it was just me who was going to be disappointed, but I had 18 first graders who though they were growing a beautiful garden.  I will never know why she didn’t offer to help, or why she even bothered coming into my classroom to see what I was doing in the first place.  What I DO know is this…I will NEVER knowingly set someone up to fail.

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This is a lesson I will pass on to my children in hopes that the little voice inside their head will say, “Do the right thing” when faced with an opportunity to help a friend or even a stranger.  Life is hard enough when you know what you’re doing…having a little help when trying something new can only raise your chances at success.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” Theodore Roosevelt

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

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