I’ve had friends tell me “You’ll just know when you are finished wanting to have more babies.” It seemed some vague to me…you’ll just know. How will I know? Will the two kids I already have drive me to the point of insanity one day and the image of a newborn swaddled in a receiving blanket will no longer seem appealing to me? Or will I wake up one day and realize the indecisiveness over wanting a third child just isn’t there any more and I can finally get rid of all of the baby stuff that is piled to the ceiling in my basement? I’ve wondered this since the birth of my daughter for over 3 years and can finally say I understand the “You’ll just know” feeling.
My Baby Boy Nicholas
This past month has been swamped with baby news. Friends have been giving birth left and right and pregnancy announcements have been popping up all over the place. All of this baby news of course made me think, “Maybe we should try for a 3rd.” I went back and forth with it in my head for days even though my husband had put the idea of a 3rd to rest long ago but I just couldn’t come to peace with it. Then it hit me, as I was daydreaming about the possibilities of expanding our family, the black cloud of postpartum depression loomed over me. I suffered from severe postpartum depression after the birth of both of my babies. (Click here to read my postpartum story, Baby Blues to Baby Bliss). It was to date the most difficult thing I have had to face. I started to feel the tightening in my chest and the ache in my heart. I thought of the two beautiful and healthy children that I was lucky enough to give birth to and how I would never want them to see me go through that nightmare again. At that moment I JuSt KnEw that I was done having babies and that my family was complete.
My Baby Girl Abby
I am sure the “You just know” moment is different for every woman. Whether it is the decision to not have children at all, or to not add any more children to the family you already have. I suddenly feel a sense of peace knowing that my decision is made and will live each day loving my family of 4.
Please share your “I just knew” moments in the comments section!
~Robyn (Jersey Girl)
Quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Edition) by Dale Carnegie:
Chapter: If You’re Wrong, Admit It.
Principle: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
“If we know we are going to be rebuked anyhow, isn’t it far better to beat the other person to it and do it ourselves? Isn’t it much easier to listen to self-criticism than to bear condemnation from alien lips? Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wants to say or intends to say – and say them before that person has a chance to say them. The chances are a hundred to one that a generous, forgiving attitude will be taken and your mistakes will be minimized.” (pg. 137)
“There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one’s errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.’” (pg. 138)
“Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes – and most fools do – but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes.” (pg. 139)
“Remember the old proverb: “By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”‘ (pg. 142)
Principle: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Click here for beginning post of this series.
Click here for last week’s post.
I wanted to drop you a quick line pointing you toward an excellent video to watch this weekend. Cardiovascular disease impacts 1 in 3 Americans, and is the leading cause of death in the United States – killing more people than the next 5 most common causes combined.
Women’s symptoms of a heart attack are *VERY*
different than those of men, and because they often can mimic fatigue or the common cold, many women don’t realize they are having a heart attack.
Now, for some of you, you may think this video is an exact replica of your LiFe
each morning (that’s how I felt!) which is even more of a reason that you should watch this!!
If you read Robyn’s post The Weight Is On yesterday, you can probably relate. As spring approaches it is just natural to want to get in shape whether you have gained excess winter weight or you’re just feeling like you’ve been stuck inside for way too many months and are needing a ChAnGge oF sCeNeRy.
Sometimes it can be hard to get started when you see the long road ahead to reach your WeiGht-LoSs GoAl. Afterall, overcoming the inertia can be a difficult thing to do.
On Monday we had a little pep talk and we decided that we would overcome the inertia together. So we made a 2-MoNtH pAcT to exercise consistently from now to mid-May, basically, the beginning of summer. It is actually quite motivating when you look at it in the context of summer being right around the corner.
One thing that really motivated us in our new goal was this website from the National Institute Of Health that can help in your weight loss efforts. Here’s the link: http://bwsimulator.niddk.nih.gov/ . It allows you to put in your weight, goal weight, and a few other items. It will then tell you how many calories you need to consume each day to reach your goal. We played around on it and found it quite addictive.
(You do need to have Java installed on your computer. You can install a free version by going to www.java.com ) Here is what the simulator looks like:
Overwhelmed by the idea of tracking your calories? No worries! Check out this quick, easy and free calorie counting website: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ They also offer a free app for your phone!
So, if you’re like us and you need to overcome inertia, GeT yOuR PoSsE - a group of friends, an exercise group, your neighbors, or family members and get your exercise groove on. After all, there’s only about 60 days until summer!
Lara, Robyn, & Robynn
As we are approaching the warm weather I once again find myself having to deal with the excess weight that I have put on over the winter. Every year I say I am not going to gain weight during the winter, and every year I find myself in the same predicament. Last summer I reached my lowest weight since having my kids. I was so proud of my achievement, but did that stop me from over indulging during the month-long Christmas festivities…NO! Then once Christmas came and went there was New Years, the Super Bowl, and I can’t forget to mention my new obsession with Golden Oreos. I watched the numbers on the scale creep up until yesterday I realized I had put on a full 15 pounds since the summer and am once again miserable with what I see in the mirror when the clothes come off.
I decided to take out my camera phone and take 3 pictures of myself…front, back, and side views in my bathing suit. What I saw in the pictures was even worse than the image that had been staring at me in the mirror. As I said in a past weight loss post (Put On Your Big Girl Panties and Deal With It), to many friends and family members it may not seem like I need to lost weight, but I know that I can do better. Weight loss isn’t about how you look compared to other people, it is about how you feel about yourself.
Using my pictures as a starting off point, I am excited to get my butt in gear and start working towards the Robyn that I know I can be! With today being the first day of spring…NOW is as good a time as any to change the eating habits that have crept up through the cold. Any readers who can relate…GET OUT YOUR CAMERAS and let’s go!
~Robyn (Jersey Girl)
Good morning Friends!
I am sure eNjoYinG the nice weather we are having in Kansas. We are looking forward to spring break!
Today I wanted to pass along something that has been helpful to our family. The other morning I was fixing Leanne’s hair. She didn’t like it and combed the braid out. It upset me because I had worked hard on it and we were running out of time before the bus came. I told her she would have to figure out how to fix her hair on her own and walked into the other room, upset (probably not the best of parenting!). To my surprise she walked after me and asked,
“Mom, can we sTarT oVeR?”
I replied, “Sure!” She stuck out her hand and we shook on it.
In a cheery voice I asked her how I could help her get ready for school, and off we went. It was as if the short moment of frustration never happened.
Don’t get me wrong, when my kids or husband ask me to “start over” it takes a big swallow of pride to put my anger aside and agree to start fresh. The human side of us just wants to stew over the problem, which only makes things worse and wastes a lot of time.
But just like ripping it like a band-aid, it only stings for a second! Do yourself (and your loved ones) a favor by asking if you can START OVER the next time things head in the wrong direction.
Now that nicer weather is around the corner, do you need help getting motivated to do some spring cleaning? If so, read my “Rip It Like A Band-Aid” post!
Every once in a while Doug and I will catch ourselves wAsTiNg a lot of time rehashing an upsetting incident, discussing something negative, or spending way too much time on something that we shouldn’t. Do you ever do that? Recently, we have done something helpful to avoid these ongoing situations. We “make a pact” with one another to no longer waste another minute on that specific topic. When we catch ourselves in a conversation that makes us feel sour, one of us may say, “Okay…for the rest of the month we need to work on not bringing up_______.” From then on we hold each other accountable by giving “the look” or a quick reminder when conversations head the wrong direction.
Is there something that you are doing, saying or thinking about that you need to nip in the bud? By regurgitating the same negative conversations you are adding unnecessary depression to your day AND to those around you. Doug and I always have to remember…the kids are aLwAys watching and listening!! Whatever we talk a lot about, they will believe!
What conversations can you remove from your life by mAkiNg a pAcT to stop? Don’t forget, with the help of someone else, you can achieve this goal much easier and catch old habits before they creep back in your life!
It has taken me months to start this post because of sheer embarrassment, but if my story can provide insight to someone else…then it is worth sharing. Last summer we went to Disney World for a family vacation. My sister had planned the trip from wake-ups to bedtimes and we had the time of our lives. That would be minus the 15 minutes of terror when I realized I had lost my two kids in the park.
My husband had taken the kids on the train-ride around Magic Kingdom and I was shopping on Main Street. We were planning to meet at the train stop at the front of the park and continue our day. When the three of them got to the train stop my husband realized he had left our empty stroller at one of the other train stops and was staying on the train to go back to get it. The kids came off the train and started walking down the ramp that they thought was going to bring them to me. As I watched them exit the train I realized that the train exit ramp and the platform I was standing on did not meet in the same location. Before I could yell to them they were gone. I ran down a set of stairs hoping it would end where the kids came off the ramp, but the ramp was nowhere in sight and neither were Nicholas and Abby. I ran around like a maniac trying to find them, but it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. I found a young “cast member” (that is what they call the people who work in Disney) and told him I lost my kids. He didn’t really seem to jump with any urgency and I immediately knew I needed to find someone else to help me. The next cast member that I found was a woman who immediately sprung into action. She got on a radio and asked me what the kids looked like. She assured me that the kids would be found and that they would not get out of the park. Like a scene out of a movie I watched all of the cast members leap into action…as I kept saying “My son is 5 and my daughter is 3, they are blonde as blonde can be, she is wearing a red and white polka dot dress and he is wearing and black and red Mickey Mouse shirt.” My heart raced as I cried picturing how scared my babies must have been. The woman kept me calm by telling me that she lost her own son in the park a little over a week ago and that an undercover cast member had found him. I wish I had gotten her name…she knew how it felt to be a mom who was missing her greatest blessing and hugged me as we watched the scene unfold and wait for what seemed like an eternity. After about 15 minutes I heard a voice say, “We’ve got them.” I looked at the top of the train platform and ran to the steps to see my scared little ones walking toward me. They were holding hands and Nicholas (my mamma’s boy) was crying. I hugged them and never wanted to let go.
I am beyond grateful to the cast members who went above and beyond to find my kids and keep me calm. I wish I could have thanked them all, but the moment was so overwhelming that by the time I got it together everything had gone back to normal in The Magic Kingdom and they were all scattered about doing their jobs.
When I look back on this I really can’t BlAmE this on anyone. There was no way any of us could have known that the ramp and stairs didn’t meet up. It wasn’t like my kids had wondered off and weren’t paying attention…they thought they were walking and meeting me after getting off the train. What I did learn is that there are things I could have done PriOr to this incident that could have made finding them a little easier.
Before our trip we had purchased tattoos for the kids arms that said, “If lost call XXX-XXX-XXXX.” Did I have the tattoos on the kids arms that day? NO! What good were they doing in our hotel room?!!! My husband and I also realized we had never had a discussion with the kids telling them what to do if they got lost. We should have pointed out what cast members look like and told them to find one if they were lost. Someone else gave me a great suggestion to take a picture of my kids each morning on my phone so that if they are lost you can see exactly what they are wearing in case you forget and you can show the picture to anyone who is helping to find them. I also found a great idea on Pinterest where you make a bracelet with your phone number on it so that if they are lost someone can call you. Bottom line…if you ever get into the situation that I was in act fast and find someone who you feel can help you.
I hope you never find yourself in this predicament, but just in case here are some ideas to help others get your kids back to you safely.
Take a Picture of Your
Kids Each Morning
Cell Phone Bracelet
If Lost Tattoo
Website for Safety Tattoo
~Robyn (Jersey Girl)