He Who Can Do This Has The Whole World With Him. He Who Cannot Walks A Lonely Way.

Quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People (Revised Edition) by Dale Carnegie:

Chapter:  He Who Can Do This Has The Whole World With Him.  He Who Cannot Walks A Lonely Way.

Principle:  Arouse in the other person an eager want.

“Why talk about what we want?  That is childish.  Absured.  Of course, you are interested in what you want.  You are eternally interested in it.  But no one else is.  The rest of us are just like you:  we are interested in what we want.

So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something.  If, for example, you

don’t want your children to smoke, don’t preach at them, and don’t talk about what you want; but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.

This is a good thing to remember regardless of whether you are dealing with children or calves or chimpanzees.  For example:  one day Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son tried to get a calf into the barn.  But they made the common mistake of thinking only of what they wanted:  Emerson pushed and his son pulled.  But the calf was doing just what they were doing; he was thinking only of what he wanted; so he stiffened his legs and stubbornly refused to leave the pasture.  The Irish housemaid saw their predicament.  She couldn’t write essays and books; but, on this occasions at least, she had more horse sense, or calf sense, than Emerson had.  She thought of what the calf wanted; so she put her maternal finger in the calf’s mouth and let the calf suck her finger as she gently led him into the barn.

Every act you have ever performed since the day you were born was performed because you wanted something.  How about the time you gave a large contribution to the Red Cross?  Yes, that is no exception to the rule.  You gave the Red Cross the donation because you wanted to lend a helping hand; you wanted to do a beautiful, unselfish, divine act.  “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

If you hadn’t wanted that feeling more than you wanted your money, you would not have made the contribution.” (pg. 32-33)

“Andrew Carnegie, the poverty-stricken Scotch lad who started to work at two cents an hour and finally gave away $365 million, learned early in life that the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants.  He attended school only four years; yet he learned how to handle people.”  (pg. 34)

“Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships.  “If there is any one secret of success,” said Henry Ford, “it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”" (pg. 37)

“Remember: “First, arouse in the other person an eager want.  He who can do this has the whole world with him.  He who cannot walks a lonely way.”" (pg. 50)

Principle:  Arouse in the other person an eager want.

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