Put On Your Big Girl Panties And Deal With It

Growing up I was extremely lucky as far as my weight was concerned.  I was able to eat whatever I wanted and whenever I wanted and never gained a pound.  I didn’t worry about my clothes fitting and I didn’t think twice about wearing a bikini to the beach. By age 25 I got married, my metabolism had started changing, and the weight started creeping up.  Over two years of infertility led to more weight gain and I delivered my son weighing 67 pounds heavier than I was on my wedding day.

After Nicholas was born I decided to join Weight Watchers to help take the weight off.  Knowing that getting back to my pre-baby weight was NoT A ReAliTy, I set a goal that I thought I could maintain.  Losing the weight was the easy part…keeping it off was another story.  Over the next year and a half I watched the scale go up and down until I reached my goal weight for the second time only to find out a week later that I was pregnant with my daughter.  WoO-hOo, not only was I shocked and elated that I was pregnant without having to go through the grueling infertility struggle that I went through for my son, but now I  had a FrEePaSs to eat whatever I wanted again.

I didn’t gain as much weight with Abby’s pregnancy as I did with Nicholas’, but I don’t think having a toasted coconut donut and a large dunkachino every day from May to August was a smart move.  My weight fluctuated for the next year and a half until it got to a point where I couldn’t stand to look at myself in the mirror.  There were many people, friends and family included, who would say, “You are small you don’t need to lose weight.”  I was already upset and stressed about the way I looked and when I heard things like that it made me feel like what I was going through WaSn’T ReaL to anyone else.  I got to a point where I was eating and eating ridiculous amounts of snacks and sweets and I wasn’t fitting into any of my clothes.  I was my highest non-pregnancy weight and just couldn’t get control of it.  As NuTtY as it may sound, I decided that taking a picture of myself in the mirror wearing my bra and underwear was going to be my motivation.  I loathed and hated the picture.  The girl in the picture was so far from who I wanted to be and it was a huge WaKe-Up CaLL.  It is one thing to stuff yourself into clothes and cover up with a big shirt or sweater, but it is another to look at yourself over and over again with nothing sucking you in or hiding the skin.

I joined Weight Watchers again in January 2011, but this time I did all of my weigh-ins online and downloaded the Weight Watchers app on my phone.  I followed the plan, but allowed myself to ChEaT a little on weekends.  By June I had lost 20 pounds and was thrilled with my success.  I’ve struggled since June to keep the weight off, but am trying to make peace with myself and accept the ups and downs that come with weight loss.

With Thanksgiving tomorrow and Christmas right around the corner I know the next month is not going to be easy.  I know denying myself treats like sweet potato casserole and Christmas cookies will only make me depressed so I will allow myself to indulge in the things that I love, but at a reasonable helping.  If I notice the weight starting to CrEeP back up, I know I have my trusty camera and can stand in front of the mirror in my bra and underwear anytime!

~Jersey Girl~

7 Comments

Filed under New Jersey Robyn, Peace w/ Food

7 responses to “Put On Your Big Girl Panties And Deal With It

  1. Robyn, thanks so much for sharing your story. I know there will be many people reading who can relate and hopefully they will see that they are not alone! We look forward to you sharing your insight on this topic!!

    Robynn~

  2. Elyse

    Our stories are very similar, and congtats on the weight loss! I lost 18 lbs from January to April & have lost another 2 lbs since then. I have found myself really struggling with confidence & self image since I’ve been stuck inside more due to the time change & colder weather. I find myself eating so much junk again… All the bad habits I tried so hard to quit are creeping back into my life. :) I will keep following this for motivation.

    • Robyn

      Elyse…thank you for sharing with us! We are so happy to help motivate others as it inspires us to keep going in a positive direction! This time of year is always hard but by allowing myself “treats” in moderation I have found I am more successful than when I cut them out completely. Good luck!

  3. Tonya

    Thanks for all three of your great stories. They all hit home with me in one way or another. I too had to have a picture taken of myself to get myself motivated. I asked my husband to take a picture of me in my bra and underwear. I really felt disgusting. It was even hard having my husband see me without clothes on. I put that picture on my treadmill to inspire me to do better and not to quit. I also joined Weight Watchers at that time. That was two years ago and I have lost 16 pounds. I continue to struggle with my weight and self control when it comes to food. I think it will be a constant battle for me. All these stories just remind me that we can’t judge a book by its cover. It doesn’t matter what a person’s size is, you never know how people are really feeling about themselves. I look forward to hearing more from you ladies. Thanks for this wonderful website!

    • Tonya,

      Lara, Robyn and I talk about how there is a disconnect between what you see in the mirror and reality!! The mirror can deceive, but a picture does not!! Especially one where you can’t “cover-up”. I find that these kind of pictures for me are motivating as well. Thanks for sharing your story. We hope that we help women (and men) who struggle and feel like they are the only one with this issue, because they are not! Sometimes people who look like they don’t have a problem in this area struggle the most. Hearing from other people who you wouldn’t think have issues with weight and eating can be so liberating!! We will definitely keep the posts on this issue coming!!!

      :)
      Robynn~

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